Thursday, January 08, 2004
Wow Farscape is a great show. Here are some quotes I found. You don't really need to know the characters to get the jokes, but I guess it might help a tad. With no further ado...
Aeryn Sun: She gives me a woody.
[no one says anything]
Aeryn Sun: Woody. It's a human saying. I've heard you say it often. When you don't trust someone or they make you nervous, they give you...
John Crichton: Willies. She gives you the willies.
[Moya and her crew have encountered a hostile ship]
John Crichton: Have we sent the "Don't shoot, we're pathetic" transmission yet?
General Ka D'Argo: Well, now I can only speak truth, and that comes as good and bad news.
John Crichton: All right, give me the bad news first.
General Ka D'Argo: The bad news is that you're married, and you must endure as a statue for eighty cycles in a strange world.
John Crichton: What's the good news?
General Ka D'Argo: Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.
[said to a complaining newcomer]
John Crichton: Welcome to the Federation Starship SS Buttcrack!
[Slaps his own rear end]
John Crichton: Open your ears or tentacles or whatever orifice it is you listen with!
John Crichton: The ionic radiation gives her photogasms, unless she's faking it. They can do that, you know. Hey, Zhaan, you faking it?
Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan: [blissfully giggling] Noooo...
Scorpius: Go on. Kill her. Then we'll have pizza and margarita shooters. Do it. Do it.
John Crichton: [aims gun at Scorpius instead] Nobody has margaritas with pizza.
John Crichton: I hate it when villains quote Shakespeare.
Dominar Rygel XVI: No dominar from the House of Rygel ever travels in reverse!
John Crichton: Turn around, pretend you're heading forward.
Chiana: What if the creature's waiting?
John Crichton: Then piss it off.
Chiana: How?
John Crichton: Pretend it's me.
John Crichton: I've got to get out of here before I end up like you!
Dominar Rygel XVI: What, handsome with a great sexual prowess?
John Crichton: Lately,. do I seem, a little crazy to you?
Aeryn Sun: What do you mean, 'lately'?
Neeyala: We were regaining dimensionality when our ships collided and must've been subjected to a massive burst of photonic distortion. Once the phaztillon generator is repaired, we'll dose ourselves and hope your living ship doesn't interfere with the non-thermal dimensional forces.
Aeryn Sun: Do you understand any of those words?
John Crichton: Yeah, I watched all kinds of Star Trek, it's just the order that they're in.
John Crichton: If he masters wormhole technology, what will he use it for?
Scorpius: Faster delivery of pizzas.
John Crichton: [singing] Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you. Sweet dreams that leave your worries behind you. But dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me.
Zhaan: I was. I keep seeing you die.
[John and D'Argo are playing 'Rock, Paper, Scissors']
John Crichton: Again?
General Ka D'Argo: Yeah.
John Crichton: One, two, three.
[John throws paper. D'Argo throws rock.]
General Ka D'Argo: [Laughs.] Again, I win.
John Crichton: No, I win. Paper wraps rocks.
General Ka D'Argo: No, paper cannot possibly beat rock.
John Crichton: It does. Paper beats rock.
General Ka D'Argo: Rock rips through paper.
John Crichton: D'Argo, that's not how it works. Paper beats rocks.
General Ka D'Argo: That's unrealistic.
John Crichton: Well, it's the rules! And it's not supposed to be realistic, it's supposed to be entertaining.
General Ka D'Argo: My coma was more entertaining.
John Crichton: Shyeah! It'd totally screw the pooch, babe!
Chiana: Distress call. Directed at us?
John Crichton: [laughing] How stupid is that?
John Crichton: Oh, great. So he's like one of those mechanics on 60 Minutes who says he's gonna help and then he screws us.
John Crichton: It's Scooby Doo time.
John Crichton: I must be smarter than I look.
Aeryn Sun: That would be easy.
John Crichton: Lock up the women and hide the fried chicken!
John Crichton: Whoa... hell, we're screwed.
Dominar Rygel XVI: Should I disrobe so it's memorable?
Captain Biallar Crais: I like your style hombre but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer, theft of police property, illegal possession of a firearm, five counts of attempted murder. That comes to $29.40. Cash, check or credit card.
[John Crichton inside his own mind]
John Crichton: Can I get a, "Hell, yeah!"?
Imaginary crowd: Hell, yeah!
Chiana: Sex does it.
General Ka D'Argo: For you.
Chiana: For everyone. Sex.
John Crichton: With you? Or with him?
Chiana: Whatever.
John Crichton: It's beer o'clock. Where's my riot?
General Ka D'Argo: I am a full-blooded Luxan, and ladies, I have so much cash in my pocket that I can assure you that the three of us will crawl out of here on our hands and knees come sunrise tomorrow morning...
[laughs]
General Ka D'Argo: I've been arrested for saying exactly the same thing on four different planets.
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